Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Random Thought of the Day
The one benefit to water retention is that all those little cellulite dimples magically disappear.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
What Not to Wear
So today I stumbled on two articles about dress codes (or the lack thereof) in two very dissimilar environments; on an airplane and in prison visiting rooms.
Let's start with the airplanes.
I guess I've never thought much about appropriate attire for air travel. We've all seen those pictures of people in aviation's infancy, snappily dressed and looking more like they're going to be spending the next few hours at a church function or gallery opening than crammed into a stained seat half the size of a normal human being with a dirty tray table jammed against their knees and a crying toddler bumping their seat back every five seconds while his dad loudly snores and his mom chatters across the aisle in blissful oblivion.
I don't know about you, but when I travel, I'm aiming for comfort. If I have to deal with limited space, screaming kids, and drooling, smelly people using my shoulder as a pillow, I at least don't want underwires digging into my sides or pants cutting off the circulation to areas below my waist. Comfort is one thing. THIS, however, is quite another:
You can read the whole story here:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=%2Fc%2Fa%2F2011%2F06%2F22%2FBAJF1K0V8F.DTL
I guess this guy has a thing for women's clothes.....or, at least, their undergarments. I guess you could even say he just feels comfortable in them. After all, he happily posed for the photo. But I still don't want this sitting next to me on a cramped airplane. Sweats? Go for it. Flip-flops? Even if your feet are smelly, I'll whine and complain and probably shoot you dirty looks, but I'll survive. THIS?!?! Sorry, sir. I really don't want to brush my arm against your hairy belly or rub hips with your satin panties. Really. No thanks.
It seems a fair number of Lenny Lingerie's fellow passengers felt the same way since they voiced numerous complaints to the airline employees. Turns out the airline doesn't have a dress code policy. Although they're smart enough to, nevertheless, require that your private parts be covered. That being said, if a passenger is "not exposing their private parts, they're allowed to fly," regardless of whatever "outfit" they may be wearing.
Kinda gives new meaning to flying the friendly skies, doesn't it?
And on we go to prison visiting rooms. I always sort of assumed there was an "appropriate attire" rule for prisons. It just makes sense. I've seen scantily-clad women standing outside of jails, waving to inmates and getting dangerously closing to lifting their tops, but I figured that you had to be a little more conservatively clothed to get inside the gates. Actually, I'm basing that on my one experience with visiting a prison (as part of an internship - no deadbeat relatives or friends here.....at least not THAT deadbeat).
All us girls were warned in advance to dress "as much like men" as we possibly could. We were visiting a prison, after all. We're talking about a concrete-walled, fenced-in, heavily-guarded institution containing thousands of men who committed various serious crimes and probably hadn't been close to a woman in years. Believe me, I was totally fine with dressing like a guy. Totally.
Some of the other girls, however, were not.
They showed up in little tank tops, wearing make-up and with their hair done up all pretty. Mind you, we were a group of future lawyers, so I'm not sure what the other girls were hoping to achieve by dressing up for the prisoners. I prefer to believe they weren't looking for a pen pal, or a future date, or even a future client, but I'm quickly figuring out that I must have higher standards than at least 85% of the population. Or maybe I'm just horribly naive. At any rate, a couple of the girls had to cover up a bit when we got to the security checkpoint (the prison had some spare men's oxfords for just such occasions), but it didn't change the fact that they were made up like little dolls. All I can say is it's a good thing they put on the spare shirts. When we hit the maximum security wing, the prisoners were pounding on the doors, hooting and hollering and whistling and screaming all manner of crude and disgusting things. And, when we left, they all turned on their sinks and flooded the halls in protest.
But that wasn't the worst. The worst was when we walked through the yard - It had to be at least a football field in length, with a long track around the outside and a fence circling the perimeter. We entered at one end and started down the track - a bunch of law students and ONE guard. I'm not sure I knew the meaning of fear until about three hundred hardened criminals lined up on either side of the track and watched, silently, as we passed between them. I didn't relax until the gate at the other end of the yard closed behind us.
So, all that being said, I just assumed that all prisons had tight restrictions on appropriate clothing for visiting rooms. I guess I was wrong. Rikers Island (yes, the one that is the primary prison complex for New York City) RECENTLY instituted a policy requiring "scantily clad" visitors to cover up. It's all part of their efforts to make the prison visiting room a more "family friendly" environment (because banning halter tops will suddenly make it seem like you're cavorting with puppies in a meadow of wildflowers and not numbing your ass on a bolted-down plastic chair at a bolted-down table in a room made of cement blocks and painted a lovely shade of "insane asylum green").
At any rate, if you show up at Rikers wearing your high-heeled gladiator sandals, a leopard print mini skirt, and a neon pink halter top, you're probably going to be asked to don a bright green XXL t-shirt, "large enough to be shapeless on all but the heaviest frames." The t-shirt is intended to help keep things G-rated (because visiting your brother who killed his fiance with a butcher knife is totally Disney) and prevent violence among the inmates, which could result from inmates mocking each other's visitors or liking them just a wee bit too much.
"The visitor dress code forbids clothes that expose the chest, stomach or back. Hemlines must be no more than three inches above the knee. Spandex leggings are frowned upon, as are swimsuits. A visitor's clothes should not be transparent. Hat or head coverings may be worn only if a visitor's religion demands it."
As I said before, I really feel like prisons shouldn't actually need to implement a policy asking people not to wear see-through, backless tops over swimsuits and spandex leggings. That should just be common sense, right? Or maybe not. After all, it seems you can fly to Paris wearing nothing but underwear and some pantyhose.
(Full story on the Rikers dress code here: http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/06/22/us-dresscode-visitors-idUSTRE75L4UF20110622)
Let's start with the airplanes.
I guess I've never thought much about appropriate attire for air travel. We've all seen those pictures of people in aviation's infancy, snappily dressed and looking more like they're going to be spending the next few hours at a church function or gallery opening than crammed into a stained seat half the size of a normal human being with a dirty tray table jammed against their knees and a crying toddler bumping their seat back every five seconds while his dad loudly snores and his mom chatters across the aisle in blissful oblivion.
I don't know about you, but when I travel, I'm aiming for comfort. If I have to deal with limited space, screaming kids, and drooling, smelly people using my shoulder as a pillow, I at least don't want underwires digging into my sides or pants cutting off the circulation to areas below my waist. Comfort is one thing. THIS, however, is quite another:
 |
| Photo by Jill Tarlow |
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=%2Fc%2Fa%2F2011%2F06%2F22%2FBAJF1K0V8F.DTL
I guess this guy has a thing for women's clothes.....or, at least, their undergarments. I guess you could even say he just feels comfortable in them. After all, he happily posed for the photo. But I still don't want this sitting next to me on a cramped airplane. Sweats? Go for it. Flip-flops? Even if your feet are smelly, I'll whine and complain and probably shoot you dirty looks, but I'll survive. THIS?!?! Sorry, sir. I really don't want to brush my arm against your hairy belly or rub hips with your satin panties. Really. No thanks.
It seems a fair number of Lenny Lingerie's fellow passengers felt the same way since they voiced numerous complaints to the airline employees. Turns out the airline doesn't have a dress code policy. Although they're smart enough to, nevertheless, require that your private parts be covered. That being said, if a passenger is "not exposing their private parts, they're allowed to fly," regardless of whatever "outfit" they may be wearing.
Kinda gives new meaning to flying the friendly skies, doesn't it?
And on we go to prison visiting rooms. I always sort of assumed there was an "appropriate attire" rule for prisons. It just makes sense. I've seen scantily-clad women standing outside of jails, waving to inmates and getting dangerously closing to lifting their tops, but I figured that you had to be a little more conservatively clothed to get inside the gates. Actually, I'm basing that on my one experience with visiting a prison (as part of an internship - no deadbeat relatives or friends here.....at least not THAT deadbeat).
All us girls were warned in advance to dress "as much like men" as we possibly could. We were visiting a prison, after all. We're talking about a concrete-walled, fenced-in, heavily-guarded institution containing thousands of men who committed various serious crimes and probably hadn't been close to a woman in years. Believe me, I was totally fine with dressing like a guy. Totally.
Some of the other girls, however, were not.
They showed up in little tank tops, wearing make-up and with their hair done up all pretty. Mind you, we were a group of future lawyers, so I'm not sure what the other girls were hoping to achieve by dressing up for the prisoners. I prefer to believe they weren't looking for a pen pal, or a future date, or even a future client, but I'm quickly figuring out that I must have higher standards than at least 85% of the population. Or maybe I'm just horribly naive. At any rate, a couple of the girls had to cover up a bit when we got to the security checkpoint (the prison had some spare men's oxfords for just such occasions), but it didn't change the fact that they were made up like little dolls. All I can say is it's a good thing they put on the spare shirts. When we hit the maximum security wing, the prisoners were pounding on the doors, hooting and hollering and whistling and screaming all manner of crude and disgusting things. And, when we left, they all turned on their sinks and flooded the halls in protest.
But that wasn't the worst. The worst was when we walked through the yard - It had to be at least a football field in length, with a long track around the outside and a fence circling the perimeter. We entered at one end and started down the track - a bunch of law students and ONE guard. I'm not sure I knew the meaning of fear until about three hundred hardened criminals lined up on either side of the track and watched, silently, as we passed between them. I didn't relax until the gate at the other end of the yard closed behind us.
So, all that being said, I just assumed that all prisons had tight restrictions on appropriate clothing for visiting rooms. I guess I was wrong. Rikers Island (yes, the one that is the primary prison complex for New York City) RECENTLY instituted a policy requiring "scantily clad" visitors to cover up. It's all part of their efforts to make the prison visiting room a more "family friendly" environment (because banning halter tops will suddenly make it seem like you're cavorting with puppies in a meadow of wildflowers and not numbing your ass on a bolted-down plastic chair at a bolted-down table in a room made of cement blocks and painted a lovely shade of "insane asylum green").
At any rate, if you show up at Rikers wearing your high-heeled gladiator sandals, a leopard print mini skirt, and a neon pink halter top, you're probably going to be asked to don a bright green XXL t-shirt, "large enough to be shapeless on all but the heaviest frames." The t-shirt is intended to help keep things G-rated (because visiting your brother who killed his fiance with a butcher knife is totally Disney) and prevent violence among the inmates, which could result from inmates mocking each other's visitors or liking them just a wee bit too much.
"The visitor dress code forbids clothes that expose the chest, stomach or back. Hemlines must be no more than three inches above the knee. Spandex leggings are frowned upon, as are swimsuits. A visitor's clothes should not be transparent. Hat or head coverings may be worn only if a visitor's religion demands it."
As I said before, I really feel like prisons shouldn't actually need to implement a policy asking people not to wear see-through, backless tops over swimsuits and spandex leggings. That should just be common sense, right? Or maybe not. After all, it seems you can fly to Paris wearing nothing but underwear and some pantyhose.
(Full story on the Rikers dress code here: http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/06/22/us-dresscode-visitors-idUSTRE75L4UF20110622)
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